Asking for A Raise With Confidence and Grace

A few years ago, I asked for (and received) a promotion and a 25% pay increase at my corporate job.  

Those who know me well might be surprised to learn this since I tend to be fairly reserved and prefer to avoid confrontational discussions. I’m also a part-time seminary student. (Shouldn’t “serious Christians” avoid talking about--let alone asking for--money?) The truth is, that one conversation about my financial compensation was a catalyst not only for my career but also my spiritual growth.

Preparing to ask for a raise was a long process for me—one that required prayer, seeking counsel from others, and a painfully honest evaluation of my own motives. In order to approach my boss with a clear and compelling “ask”, I first had to wrestle through my emotions and identify where pride was clouding my judgement. This is where the personal and spiritual growth happened. I was forced to analyze objectively if I truly deserved a raise and to determine on a personal level where my true worth is found. For those looking to ask for a raise, I’d love to share a few important lessons I learned during that process. 

1.     Regardless of the salary, a prideful outlook will make any job miserable. 

Initially, when I started thinking about asking for a raise, my ego flared up in an ugly way. I became bitter and I started keeping score. I noticed all the petty things that upset me about my company—which, by the way, is an awesome company— and I kept a mental tab of even the tiniest things I did at work that could justify my desire for promotion.  I was jealous and hyper-critical of co-workers with more senior titles. It was not pretty. 

It took time for me to sift through my emotions. I spent time in prayer, asking God to check my heart. I discussed my feelings about my job with close friends, giving them the green light to call me out if my complaints were petty or self-centered. Those conversations were painful and exhausting. Eventually, I was able to approach the subject of my financial compensation with a Biblical perspective and true humility.  In doing so, I could approach my boss confidently—no longer desperate or frustrated—and receive whatever his response would be with grace, rather than indignation.

2.     Nothing is wrong with sharing the facts.

There were times I felt incredibly guilty for even thinking of asking for a higher salary. I mean, isn’t it “unchristian” to even be talking about money? Wouldn’t it be “more holy” of me to accept a lesser salary? (Actually no; God is clear in Scripture that employers are called to pay their workers fairly. See Romans 4:4 and James 5:4.) 

During this time, I mentioned to a professional mentor of mine that I was feeling guilty about asking for a raise. 

His response was simple, “Well, there is nothing wrong with stating the facts.” 

 He was right. I had no reason to feel guilty about respectfully sharing the data around my reasons for seeking promotion or the amount I was hoping to receive. For me, the facts were this: My job responsibilities had nearly tripled over the past year and I had learned—from a few unsolicited job offers—that the market was paying significantly more for my position today than it was when I was hired.  

 Since that conversation, I’ve had the opportunity to manage several employees of my own. On this side of the table, I see even more how helpful it is for an employee to share a clear list of why a raise is warranted. As a manager, it’s a huge joy to have the opportunity to reward my team financially for work well done and I love it when they share specific data that can help me justify a promotion to senior leadership during review cycles. 

3.  Asking for a raise should be more about your value than your ego.  

I think the main reason my conversations with my boss went so well was because I was able to calmly share clear data related to why I deserved a pay raise. I needed to show my boss objectively that I was bringing enough value to the company to justify a pay increase, so I came prepared with clear metrics of my contributions. I was prepared with detail on what I was doing day-to-day to tangibly serve the company as well as the impact of those efforts. 

Frankly, I would not have been able to do that had I not first taken time to separate my emotions from the facts. Once I did, the information was easy to gather and spoke for itself. By sharing the facts, it freed me up to speak confidently and show genuine gratitude. 

Recently, I partnered with Polished to develop a biblically-based guide to help those considering asking for a raise.  I’d love for you to download it and work through the exercises. If you have questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out.